


Lives in Reverse

by Miss_Lv



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bonding, First Time, M/M, Role Reversal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-08
Updated: 2010-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 19:17:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Lv/pseuds/Miss_Lv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is the angel of the lord, Cas is the hunter he pulled from Hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lives in Reverse

“How did that brilliant plan of yours work out?” The voice from the shadows of the tiny motel asked with a disgusting note of amusement.

Castiel’s answer was to turn away from the sound, lying on his side as he willed sleep to over take him. Soft sounds of someone walking about and the creek of a chair being pulled out and sat in made him frown but he forced himself to relax and just get some bloody sleep. The sharp sound of a beer opening in the quiet room made him growl in irritation. Sitting up in the bed he ignored his aching side and ran his hands threw his hair.

“Will you please just go away?” He asked the figure across the room, the faint light from a crack in the curtain let him see an outline of a body but little else. Castiel was always disturbed by the fact angel could see in the dark, it didn’t seem like an appropriate ability for a being of the light. 

“We hit the shadows too Cas,” Dean answered smoothly and the human shifted in the bed, reaching for the bedside light. It was unnerving when Dean commented on his thoughts and even more so when he couldn’t see him.

“Gotta go where those motherfuckers do sometimes.” Dean, angel of the lord, beer drinker and the foulest mouth Castiel had ever heard, and saying that meant something too with Gabriel for a big brother.

The light flooded the room and he found Dean relaxed in a dingy chair, beer in one hand as he saluted Castiel with a smirk.

“Glad we’re acknowledging my existence tonight,” he commented idly and Castiel sighed in reply, slipping from the sheets to stand and get himself a drink. The ache in his side burned sharply and he paused in the motion of standing, waiting for the nausea to pass. Nothing like being thrown into a tree to remind him of how much being a hunter could suck. Reaching a hand to steady himself on the bedside table, he blinked when his fingers collided with an ice-cold beer. A prescription bottle sat beside it, enough painkillers to take out a horse.

“…thank you,” Castiel offered after a pause as he took a pill and then a swing of the drink.

“So I take the plan with the werewolf didn’t go as smoothly as hoped?”

Shrugging, Castiel pushed away thoughts of the woman he had widowed and the children who probably didn’t even know their father was dead yet. The bed shifted as the angel sat beside him, a calloused hand reaching to rest on his shoulder. Castiel wished sometimes that the comfort radiating from the celestial being was not so easy to accept, normally he could refuse politely but never with Dean.

“I’m just that good,” Came a low tease and the hunter was grateful, so fucking grateful that the angel didn’t spin tales of greater good or how the man he killed today was a lost cause.

“Life would be peachy if it was that easy.”

Dean leaned back on the bed, resting his head on his arm while Castiel remained bend over the edge of the bed, beer in his hands as he stared at the floor.

“Thank you, for your help today,” Castiel offered after a long silence, it should have been awkward but it never was with them. Castiel wasn’t sure if it was because Dean had pulled him from hell or if it was some guardian angel thing but there was comfort between them in these dark moments.     

“Alright. One: wasn’t me,” Castiel blinked at that and turned to look at the angel to ask him who it had been but Dean barged on. “Two: not a fucking fat baby sitting on anyone’s shoulder thank you,” that made the hunter smirk because how could it not, the angel was genuinely offended with the notion. “Three: its not normal, or intentional, or one sided.”

Blinking once Castiel turned his face away from those hazel eyes that always seemed to be staring into him, seeing things best left alone. Normally he was the one with the piercing gaze he thought as he tried not to think about the angel’s last remark.

“So who helped?” The question was weak at best but Castiel didn’t want to face his bizarre relationship with the celestial being right at that moment.

“Samuel.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, suspect it has something to do with the cow eyes he’s been making at your bro,” now that was an interested statement, interesting and horrifying. The idea of the ridiculously tall angel and his short smart-assed brother flashed and Castiel immediately wiped it from his mind and memory forever.  

“Oh yeah, I agree with that thought utterly.”

“Wait, an angel and a human?” Castiel frowned, purposely looking away and doing his best to keep his thoughts utterly void of where they wanted to go. He was getting better at that now, having Dean around forced that skill.

“Why not, it’s only forbidden by pretty much every law up there,” Dean chuckled sitting up so his shoulder brushed the humans.

“My brother-“

“Is a big boy Cas, if he wants to fuck the guy with the halo he will. No little brother approval required,” watching him closely the angel grinned at the expression he must have made and laughed heartily. Castiel couldn’t help it if the idea of his brother tangled in the sheets with the angel Samuel was not something he wanted to imagine. Ever.  

“And he might be a fool but Sammy’s a smart cookie, he’ll be careful. Besides the garrisons are more interested in the whole Lucifer rising then the love life of one angel,” although he didn’t have to Dean was offering him comfort again, the angel swore up and down he was there to kick ass and take names but he seemed to be helping Castiel more than anything.

“Yeah, well you look like you need a hand every now and then,” while he spoke Dean reached to poke the scar on Castiel’s shoulder making the human jump and glare. The mark was sensitive to Dean’s touch and the angel loved to exploit that. What kind of angel did that? Or wore leather coats and blue jeans? Old worn t-shirts with long forgotten band names?

“I’m going to ignore that ‘long forgotten’ because you’re drugged but you’re walking a fine line, blue eyes.”

Admittedly Castiel was feeling better, he could be completely fine if he was willing to ask but Dean always groused about healing. Sitting up straight, he frowned when his side tingled oddly and then noted the pain was no longer present, the ach healing itself.

“I don’t like doing it cause it’s not my thing, you can’t bitch if I end up giving you an extra lung or something,” the angel took a swing of his beer trying to act nonchalant, but there was a stillness that hadn’t been present before.

“I can handle another lung, one cannot have too many I suppose,” a light snort and soft smirk made the tension melt between them again. Lying back on the bed, Castiel took a deep breath finally without any pain to sting and closed his eyes for a moment. The feeling of the angel lying beside him, shoulder to shoulder was an easy one. Relaxing for a moment, not worrying about an apocalypse, hunt, or distant brother Castiel just took a pause in the presence of an angel. The hunter had seen Dean in action, sword flying, legendary Colt blazing and just being one hell of a terrifying warrior of god. If the angel was around not much was going to get the jump on them.

The breeze was warm on his skin and he exhaled the scent of grass. Castiel liked nature, preferred to sit in parks or go for walks while Gabriel hit the bars. Lazily his fingers dug into the soft earth under him and he felt a measure of comfort, that he was on earth, not somewhere below, never again down there.   

“Like I’d get my wings burnt so you could end up downstairs again.”

“Wings?” Opening his eyes to turn to Dean the human was immediately distract by the endless sky laid out in front of him, stars bright without a cloud in sight. Once more, without him realizing it, Dean has mojo’d them off somewhere. Dropping his head he simply stared up, they had to be far from any civilization for the night sky to be so clear. Making a complaint seemed foolish when Castiel couldn’t deny pleasure in being somewhere beyond a shitty motel.

“Yeah, wings need ‘em to fly,” came a low reply and Castiel looked away from the sky, tilting his head to look at the angel laying in the dirt and grass beside him.

“You have wings?” Dean had never once mentioned wings, he made jokes of course but same of halos, harps, and robes.

“All of which are freak’n fictional but wings, yeah, we have those,” despite the note of discomfort in the angel’s tone, Castiel couldn’t stop the next words from spilling out of his mouth.

“Can I see them?“

Silence fell between them and Dean sat up, making the hunter realize how warm he was now that the warmth was gone.    

“Never mind.” Quickly Castiel took back the request, not wanting to offend the angel by breaking some taboo rule. It wasn’t too often his mouth got away from him but the hunter realized how stupid it had been to ask. Obviously they were hidden or maybe metaphysical more then actual wings, humans couldn’t see them most likely. Perhaps they were something like their true forms, Dean had nearly made Castiel deaf the first few times he tried to talk to him. Wings would most likely blind him to see like with Dean’s true body. 

“Christ on a freak’n cracker, you think too much.”

“…Sorry?”

“Don’t be. You just over think too much Cas, figure you know the answer already and I haven’t even replied.”     

“Oh,” it was lame but what else was he supposed to say? Trying not to let the thoughts that Dean’s words had caused flood his mind, he turned up to watch the stars instead. Patience, it was not that hard he told himself and felt his lip twitch at Dean’s snort.

“Patience blows.”

When Dean came and went there was a soft sound that accompanied him. Castiel comprehended now it was the movement of wings because he could hear it now, just much more clearly. Staring straight up at the sky he swallowed once nervously and sat up, turning his head to look at Dean beside him.  

_Oh God._

There was an angel sitting beside him he thought, sometime he forgot that fact with how human Dean acted, but right now he was far more aware than ever before.

It was dark out, the moon casting the only light but Castiel could see them. Huge, they where so freaking huge and looming over them both. They had dark shades of browns, like a bird of prey, a hawk maybe it was hard to tell in the low light. Normally he would be thinking aerodynamics and probability, Castiel could always stay level headed. But these were wings, honest to god angel wings, on an angel who had expressed discomfort at the notion of revealing them but still had.

For him.  

“Yeah well, I like you,” there was cheek in the words but also a slight strain and Castiel’s gaze jumped from the wings to Dean’s face. The angel was watching him, staring unblinkingly at the human. Tilting his head a touch Castiel looked back, trying to read something from the aloof face.

“You’ve seen a lot of crap in your life you know,” Dean muttered, tone low as he turned his gaze up to the sky, Castiel’s remained on him.

“Most humans would break under it, fuck, you’ve been to hell and back,” a flicker of something cold flashed over the angels face at the mention of hell and Castiel could share the sentiment utterly. 

“But for some reason you’re still such an optimist,” when Dean looked back at him the human stared back quietly and the angel smiled. It was not the cocky grin or smug smirk but an honest to god smile and Castiel felt his chest tighten with how stunning it was. At that was a horridly syrupy thought, and hopefully Dean was not listening in on that. If he was the angel didn’t betray it as he watched the hunter watch him. “I doubt I could claim to still have such faith if I where in your shoes, I respect that Cas, I like that you’re still you a the end of the day.”

Dean wasn’t one to give complement lightly much less out right admit respect. Twice now he had said he liked the hunter and with a nervous glance Castiel could not stop his thoughts as he gaze fell to Dean’s mouth.

There was no doubt that he was going to go to hell.

Again.

Because there had to be rules, lots of rules, about thinking obscene things about an angel of the lord. Never mind his brother and the other angel, this was Castiel sitting there wondering what it would feel like to have Dean pressed against him, to know his body intimately. 

“Fuck Cas,” Dean hissed out and before the hunter could stammer apologies for being a pervert the angel reached out and yanked the man to him. The unnatural strength threw Castiel off as Dean dragged him close, snaking an arm to hug Castiel close to him. Nearly pulled on the angel’s lap, he sat perfectly still with his chin on Dean’s shoulder, held close by Dean’s arms wrapped around him.   

Alright, don’t over think this.

The low laugh that rolled through the angel vibrated through Castiel as well and he relaxed without consciously trying.

“I’d love to hear your thoughts on me grabbing you after your perv thoughts.” It was muffled because his face was pressed against Castiel's neck and he bit his lip at the warm breath on his skin. Tentatively he moved his arm to wrap around Dean’s waist and shifted himself, settling in the angel’s lap as he lifted his other arm reached up and hold Dean’s shoulder, his forearm pressed against the base where his wing was. Looking down Castiel couldn’t help but wonder how Dean exposed his wings with a coat and shirt still on.

Warm laugher rocked their entwined forms once more and Castiel smiled sheepishly. The wings shifted and dropped, one wrapping over his shoulders and the second layering over it. They were huge and incased them both, hiding the world outside. Pulling back a touch, the hunter cautiously touched his cheek against the stubble of the angel’s face. Nuzzling hesitantly he tried to figure out what he could do, what the angel wanted.

Dean made a low noise in his throat and pulled back so he could look at Castiel, their forehead’s touching as they stared. Hazel eyes shone with that rare genuine warmth and Castiel was leaning in to brush their mouths without thinking about it. The first kiss was timid, a soft brush, the second lingering longer, and the third had more pressure, more intent. Mouth still pressed against the angel’s, Castiel looked at Dean and found he was watching him, eyes half lidded. Most people were off put when he didn’t close his eyes for a kiss, it figured that Dean did the same thing.   

The wings resting lightly along his back tightened then and the angel pulled Castiel more firmly onto his lap, kissing with hunger. Reaching up Castiel carded his fingers through the Dean’s hair like he always wanted to. Calloused hands were all over him in turn, along his back and snaking under his shirt, learning every curve and dip and Castiel arched into the touches.

Dean opened his mouth and Castiel eagerly slipped his tongue in, licking and sucking while Dean leaned back and the hunter followed. Mindful of Dean’s wings he rested a hand in the grass and let most of his weight rest against the angel under him, their legs entwined and pressed close. Heat seeped into him from every inch he had against Dean. He was literally hot and the breeze had taken a slight chill making the human press in closer for warmth as much as for the pleasure of it. The angel’s wings blanketed over Castiel and pressed close to his back to chase the chill in him away.  

Breaking the kiss with uneven breathes; Castiel dropped his head to rest on Dean’s shoulder and tired to compose himself. So he just made out with an angel, wonderful, peachy. But still no rush, this was not the usual ‘going to be in town for a few days’ and needed some sexual release. No, this was Dean and this needed to be done right, however that was. So what if the angel felt fantastic under him, thighs pressed against one another, chest resting snuggly, and the heavy scent of the other male filling his senses. Turning his head, his mouth pressed against the bare skin of Dean’s neck and Castiel kissed lightly. The low groan it coaxed from the celestial being under him went straight to his groin. There was no doubt that he wanted to do this right, that it was so damn important that Dean understood this was more that sex, more than anything Castiel had ever had before.

But god help him he wanted the angel. Right then, right there, he wanted nothing more than to get Dean’s jean off and bury himself inside him. Rushed, hard, and rough was what Castiel did best and he just wanted to ride the angel with his wings pressed against Castiel’s back while he came, made Dean come with him.

“Holy fucking Christ Cas,” Dean gasped, arching his back up to press their bodies tight while his hands were all over him, pulling the human closer with supernatural strength and grinding their hips, which made Castiel bite off a groan. The wings snapped out and Castiel watched them hazily while Dean rubbed himself up against Castiel’s already half hard cock. The wings arched up, spanning endlessly wide as Dean lifted again and make a low rumble in his throat.

His angel just purred.         

“Fuck Cas, new rule,” there was a hitch to Dean’s voice that brought a smirk from the normally stoic human above him.

“You can’t think shit like that and not fucking do it,” hazel eyes stared up dark with lust, his mouth swollen and red from kissing. The best Castiel could give him was a tight nod before he leaned down and their mouths collided again. It was messy now, hungry as they bit and licked eagerly.

Quickly, Castiel’s fingers were undoing Dean’s jeans and the angel made a noise of encouragement. Pulling back, he brushed a kiss on Dean’s chin and then nipped at his throat, the angel tipping his head back so he had better access. Jumping between sucking and biting lightly the hunter noted Dean liked to be bitten if his noises were any indication.

“Fucking love it,” Dean confirmed with an uneven voice.

Tugging up Dean’s left leg he managed to get the bootlaces undone hastily and the entire thing off. The entire time Dean was pulling at him, urging him closer while Castiel struggled with the sudden need to rush everything desperately. Pulling Dean’s jeans down, Castiel had to maneuver but got one leg out of the tight denim and of course the angel wasn’t wearing anything under his jeans. Castiel can’t help but pause and eye up Dean’s bare body, the heavy erection that making him mouth water. The entire time Dean just laid there watching Castiel work as the hunter did all the damn work.

“Come on Cas,” Dean hurried him and Castiel forgot his annoyance when he heard that gravelly tone. Arching himself up, Dean gave a loud moan when Castiel wrapped his hand around the angel’s erection. Strangled hungry sounds keep coming as Castiel stroked him, explored the length in his hand. His thumb rubbing the pre-come on the tip as his fingers squeezed, running along the underside and the thick vein there. Dean was thrusting up mindlessly, sounding utterly lewd and God he was noisy but Castiel loved it.

The angel yanked him down, close enough so he could reach Castiel’s neck and sink his teeth in, biting and sucking roughly while his fingers drag through Castiel’s eternally messy hair.

“Come on, come on, fuck me already,” Dean hissed in his ear and he dropped a hand to cup and rub over the bulge in Castiel’s jeans. Squeezing as the human could do nothing but thrust his hips forward with his own low groan. Dean’s fingers fumbled but worked efficiently, opening Castiel’s jeans and a warm hand slipped under Castiel’s boxers to wrap around his straining cock. A choked sound came from the hunter because he’s thought about this, for months now, every time he jerked off. Castiel had been unable to take a lover, not wanting to touch another body knowing it would be Dean he was thinking about.

“Less thinking more doing.”

“Rushing much?” Castiel managed back with a hoarse voice as he pressed an open kiss on Dean’s mouth and the angel was distracted from a reply.

Pumping his hand up and down to tease him a bit, Castiel felt Dean mimic him. Letting go Dean’s cock, Castiel moved his hand down lower, Dean’s legs shifting wider to accommodate him. Tentatively he pressed a finger along the tight pucker of Dean’s body, rubbing lightly. Pulling his hand back he broke their kiss to spit on his palm and snaked his hand back between their bodies. Smearing his spit along Dean’s hole it got it slicked up before pressing a single finger in tentatively and Dean was tight, so gloriously tight. Dean’s wings came to life as Castiel pushed his digit in, shivering and sliding along the grass.

“Fuck,” the word came out with feeling and Dean let go of Castiel’s own erection and grabbed his Castiel’s head with both hands, dragging him down into a hard kiss. Tongue fucking sloppily, Castiel slowly fingered the angel open, slipping back and forth until it went smoothly and then adding a second. The act made his angel jerk up and Castiel liked the way he did that, like the way his wing flexed.

“Dean,” the name came out in an unsteady tone and the human nuzzled the angel’s neck, feeling like a nervous teenager about to make a love confession. The tight heat around his digits made his cock twitch and he wants to be in there so badly. The mix of lust and affection made Castiel’s head spin.  

 “Come on do it,” came the low command and Castiel smiled as he tried to keep himself together.

“Together, apart, as long as it’s in me.”

“Dean, I can’t.” The hunter shivered, wanting nothing more than to fuck the angel under him finally, but he doesn’t have anything to slick Dean enough to take him.

“You can’t be fucking serious.”

“I don’t have any lubrication, without it I’ll hurt you,” as much as he wanted to do it, Castiel’s not willing to hurt Dean for his own pleasure.

“I can handle pain.”

“I’d rather it just not be there,” the reply has a slight pant to it but Castiel’s voice was surer now and he was pulling back, making himself realize that he had to wait.

“Hell, you’re too damn picky,” Dean grunted with an annoyed look but dropped his head to the grass and closed his eyes. Thinking maybe the angel was going along with it Castiel began to sit up.

“We can go back to the motel I’ve got-“

“Wait,” a strong hand grabbed at his wrist and Castiel obliged blinking down at Dean as the angel concentrated for a moment and then pressed a small bottle into Castiel’s hand.  

“How did you-”

“Angel of the freaking lord here.”

“You used angelic powers to conjure a bottle of lubrication rather than return to the motel?” Castiel’s tone is incredulous even has he leaned back in, popping the cap with one hand and slicking his fingers, his cock twitching with the knowledge that that hunt was back on.

“Motel’s too small,” Dean muttered in answer giving a little sucked in breath when Castiel pressed wet fingers against him again. As he sank two into the warm heat the human glanced at the wings spread out over the endless field and had to agree silently, the motel room would be way too small.

This time the lube made the motions far easier and Castiel had three fingers in Dean, the angel’s hips swaying and pressing back each time Castiel went up to his knuckles. Kissing the angel’s neck as Dean wrapped his arms around his shoulders the human eased between Dean’s spread legs, pushing his thighs wider with his free hand. Curling his fingers inside Dean, Castiel got a sudden gasp and the wings arched again. Unable to hide his grin, he repeated the action a few more times and Dean was making sounds growing more and more desperate. When Dean let out a soft little hitched sound Castiel suddenly needed to be inside him now, to feel him around him when Dean came apart.

Slipping his fingers free, he slicked his own cock quickly and lining himself up so he could press the tip against Dean’s entrance. Taking hold of the angel’s thigh Castiel pulled it snug against his hip while the head of his cock rubbed against the slicked hole. Pushing harder, he felt the first give as he started to sink in and he swallowed hard, willing himself not to get off before he was actually in Dean. Slowly he pressed himself in and the angel was panting a little as Castiel pushed into him. Letting go of his cock, he took Dean’s waist in both hands and leaned over him, his head on the other male’s chest as he sucked in a shaky breath and kept going. The angel clutched at him, gripping at his shirt as Castiel groaned, moving up steadily until he hilted in the angel.

Oh God, he was buried in an angel and it was fantastic.

A stained chuckle made him pull back and Dean was watching him. Staring right back Castiel gently gave a shallow thrust, watching the way the hazel eyes went dark and how Dean swallowed. The hand on his back pulled at his shirt again and the air in the night became more notable when his shirt was suddenly gone. Dean’s calloused hands explored the dips and muscle of his back and the feel of feathers on his bare skin that followed made the Castiel shudder. Once more Dean had his wings cocooned against him and Castiel felt like this was an exceptional moment, few ever get to feel this kind of thing he was certain, the mix of pleasurable sin. If this was what he got for being the good soldier, the supposed righteous man, then suddenly the titles weren’t such annoying burdens anymore.

Carefully he pulled himself back and sank in again, trying to gauge how Dean felt, if he could handle-

“Yes, fucking yes, come on, you got your damn lube now fuck me like there’s no tomorrow,” they both laughed then, the quietness of the moment dying as Castiel rolled his hips, rocking back and shoving forward in tight motions, watching Dean hiss under him without real pain. The angel snaked his legs around Castiel’s waist and Castiel held himself up with his hands above Dean’s shoulders, cool grass tickling his palms. Moving leisurely he couldn’t help but watch Dean carefully for any discomfort.

“None,” the angel groaned out and the wings around Castiel pulled, urged him on. Dean made those low noises in his throat again and was thrusting back. Castiel wanted to take more time, to ease into it, he really did. But when Dean was writhing under him, muttering obscene things over and over it was impossible not to move with more fever, more so when the wings against his back tightened. Dropping a hand to Dean’s thigh, he yanked it higher on his hip to get the right angle so he could pound into the angel.

“Dean,” it was all he could get out as the friction and feel of the tight body immediately began to undo him. Biting his lip hard enough to draw blood the human tried to hold on, shoving forward with an increasing pace. Caught up in the feeling of it has Dean was forced open up for him. Each time he lunged, the angel was shoved up from the force behind it and he yanked him back down to meet the next thrust. Dropping his head, Castiel muttered his own nonsense words, staring down at Dean as the angel moved with him, as they fucked rough and hard now.

“It’s good Cas, fuck, so good,” Dean panted and Castiel nodded his head, knowing it was already. Tightening his grip on Dean, he slammed with all his weight, hearing Dean answer with a groan. Tight fast thrusts were the best he could manage and he was so close, so damn close already. The bright rush of pleasure racing up to meet him before he was ready for it.

Dean’s wings snapped open, arching outwards as far as they could, the once peaceful sky rumbling and lightening flashed. Dean was looking right at him, his gaze for once utterly inhuman, pupils blow out far too wide and a ring of white circling them rather then the hazel shade Castiel knew. Dean was arching up into every lunge, his leg braced on the ground as he lay under the man and let Castiel pound into him until the angel came undone.

When Dean’s hand found the scar on Castiel’s shoulder he cried out. Vivid sensations pulsed through him, the feeling of his own cock spearing the angel, the pull of his wing muscles as his body strained, and pleasure, so much please. Fumbling Castiel wrapped a hand around Dean’s own erection and pumped him, wanted to make him feel everything.

With a particularly hard flash of lightening that Castiel was sure later that half the world saw, the angel came and Castiel fell right with him. Dropping down his head to rest on Dean’s chest as he gave a last few lunges, feeling himself throbbing as he pulsed into Dean. The angel made incoherent sounds, his own cock spilling as it coated Castiel hand and his own stomach. The pleasure was peeking, over taking everything and consuming them both as Castiel could feel Dean riding high along side him, could actually feel Dean’s orgasm running through him.

Every muscle in his body was tensed and so was Dean, Castiel could feel it like it was his own body. Finally the peak flared out, the pleasure falling back and with a sudden rush of breath he hadn’t known he was holding, Castiel collapsed on the angel, dragging in air. Dean also drained of tension, a single wing coming up to wrap around Castiel and shelter him from the wind.

Warmth, compassion, worry, and affection were bleeding into Castiel.

_Was he cold, did he enjoy it as much as Dean did, how would he feel tomorrow, would he regret, was this worth it, did he even begin to understand what he did to Dean, how he made him doubt, question a way of life he had never once thought too? Did he understand that he made Dean lust? For the first time in his existence he wanted something, someone, selfishly. Fuck it felt good to lie there, to revel in the sin of their union and just be for once. Father forgive him, he adored this man, adored him above all, and couldn’t even be ashamed of his blasphemy._

“Dean,” his body shivered as the powerful emotions swirled around in him and overwhelmed Castiel. But when Dean tore his hand from the scar on his shoulder he felt less, colder without the touch.

“Sorry,” the angel muttered into his hair, his nervous tone betraying his own chaotic state. With a shake of his head Castiel looked up, stared at the angel and tried to convey how serious he was in that moment. “I… feel it too. I feel how you do.”  

Dean watched him, his eyes boring into Castiel for a moment before he nodded his head once, tightly with no smart comment or silly statement to make it less. Castiel dropped his head on the angel’s chest again, felt more relaxed than he had in years, before the apocalypse became real, before the mess with his brother’s blood addiction, before Gabriel took off years ago.

It felt good and calm, so calm and soothing.

Just has he was drifting off the hunter realized something that the brief connection Dean had shared with him meant.

“Dean, were you a virgin?”

 


End file.
